:: Why is everyone always rushing?
:: Why am I always rushing? Move over slow person, stop looking at your phone and blocking the pavement.
:: Do not cut in front of me, I've been eyeing that seat/space to actually get on the tube for ages.
:: Please, wear your biggest rucksack and wear it the entire journey. You can pull out the newspaper and read it at it's double page glory for bonus points.
:: God! Commuting is like an Olympic sport... I should get a medal for this each day. Or a wine, a large glass of wine.